“But most importantly of all: The Met Line draws crazies like Picasso did. It’s nothing but a sea of surreal eyes-where-feet-should-be and dogs on roller-skates. It’s a veritable dick parade…”
St. David’s Day was and is all about celebrating NOT being English. Sometimes? They dye the water in Swansea City Centre’s Fountains RED for the occasion, meant to symbolize the red of the dragon and the blood of the patriots. But it looks more like a scene from the Plagues of Egypt, just with chavs substituting the locusts and fake tans taking the place of boils.
“Disney: Sure, the saccharine displays of sugar-sweet-sycophancy are enough to turn anyone diabetic, – but we all deserve to be appeased like spoiled dictators from time to time.”
“New Zealanders. You can’t bother a nation that endures 11,000 earthquakes a year and runs the risk of falling into the sea, they’re too busy perfecting their scrums and inventing new ciders.”
“Why would ANYONE want to leave Wellington? It’s hard to discuss New Zealand’s capital without shouting a list of superlatives; positive, adoring ones, not the type you have to yell out your window while venturing through Slough.
Wellington makes my beloved Wales look flat and ugly. It sits prettily and nonchalantly on the hillsides like a Kardashian straddling a sports team…”